On Sunday October 23rd, I participated as one of the 7,000 Difference Makers on Rick Hansen’s 25th Anniversary Relay in the town I call home, Laval Québec. I have been looking forward to this moment since I was told I had won last August.
See, to be part of this Relay I had to enter a contest and write a blurb on how I was a “Difference Maker”. Piece of Cake! Thirty-two years with Alopecia Areata, twenty of those heavily involved in awareness and support groups, I was well aware that I could grab that Difference Maker status, I have a ton of stories I can tell. And then, voilà, I did it!!! Got a call confirming that I was one of the lucky ones chosen. Here, for me, was another opportunity to “publicize” alopecia, to make it visible. Because this Relay wasn’t about me, it was about Alopecia awareness, a cause I had always held so dearly.
As the date approached and still very excited for the opportunity of making another attempt of having Alopecia be understood by a wide range of people I see that my “entourage” is not so excited, looks like they are not even… interested. As I ask close family members if they are going to come and see me do this grand event I get the “well… umm…” as if it didn’t event cross their mind of taking some time in their “busy” schedule to come and see my participation in this event. Worse, they didn’t really know what is was all about.
Then the old feelings came back, memories, right? Memories of people who never really cared about my cause, who avoided the Alopecia subject through the early years of my ordeal where not only I didn’t know a soul who had the same disease but where information was scarce as the age of Internet hadn’t even shown its face yet. Believe me, avoiding the subject doesn’t make it go away. Then the old scars of being different (i.e. ugly, abnormal) and misunderstood (i.e. “there is no problem, she can deal with it”) showed its ugly head and that constant urge for me to overachieve, to prove that not only am I normal, I am superwoman, taking everything in stride and never complaining, because if I did, I was weak; old scars I didn’t need to revisit, because this was going to be my day. Then I felt like that young 18 year old whose hair was falling out…
Today, Alopecia is still part of my life, it never really went away… and it won’t. But it certainly disappeared in the background. My need to overachieve had made me live wonderful experiences and it has only just begun… I am known for my perseverance and for speaking from the heart which is the only way I know how. Am I happy I did it? The jury is still off on this one. Did I learn a lesson? Definitively yes! For that, I am thankful. I definitely don’t need to prove myself anymore. I am who I am.
Conclusion? We are all Difference Makers, we do it every day. Some of us are just more aware of it than others. And that, in the end, is Rick Hansen’s message. Way to go Rick!
